Battle of Depression

By Chrysty De Guzman - December 20, 2017

Have you been in a situation which you feel like you’re battling life alone? You feel like no one cares; what you feel, what you need, who you are? You’ll get your blanket and hug your own knees? You’ll cuddle your pillow because no one is with you?

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Just recently every fan who truly loves Jonghyun mourn of his death. Kim Jong-hyun better known by the mononym Jonghyun, was a South Korean singer-songwriter, and radio host. He was a vocalist of the South Korean boy group Shinee. And his death was said to be of depression quoting on his parting letter “I am damaged from the inside. The depression that has been slowly eating away at me has completely swallowed me, and I couldn't win over it.”

There are people who think like depression is a joke. That it is something to laugh at. They didn’t know that to someone fighting it, means a life itself. The feeling that you want to scream and tell the world you want to be felt. You want to be recognized. You want to be appreciated. But you just can’t, you’re afraid. You have all the fear; fear of unknown. Asking yourself if this even possible? Isn’t life should be live amazingly? Why can’t you be like others who have every happiness they deserve? But no you are fighting life. Life itself, your OWN life. You are trying to win over yourself. It’s hard, really hard.

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Yes! I share the same feelings. I share the same battles every day. Wishing that night won’t come because there are those feelings again, hunting me. Wishing that I have a different life (ohhh) but don’t think that I don’t love my life right now. But I hate the part of my life which I’m afraid because my mind was settled to negative things that will happen.  I’m fighting this feeling every day; every night that sometimes make me wish to die. But hey! I’m still alive. I am fighting because I learned that I have God with me. I’m killing this sickness through my faith. That in every time I fear, I pray and ask for wisdom and strength.

And given a chance to write I want to raise awareness that depression is a serious thing. That it kills. But I’m encouraging every one whose battling this mood disorder to reach out to God and strengthen our faith, it helps. It really helps A LOT. It is not easy, the journey will be rough but believing makes it worth it.

Let's Fight this together! Do not give up with life! I am with you. God is with us!

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